Hellgate 2012 " The year of the friends"

Hellgate 2012 "The year of the friends"

         Well its taken me a month and a half to finally lay down my thought and feelings about this race. So lets begin....
        After masochist i really didnt run as much as I wanted to. Took a trip out to Cali and ran a little out there but since its so flat i ran way too fast and kinda aggravated my Achilles a little. So i backed off miles thinking my past couple weeks will get me through. Fast forward to week before Hellgate. I woke up on Tuesday of that week and throat was scratchy. I ignored all day and when i got home body was crazy tired. symptoms only got worse and i went on antibiotics thinking maybe just maybe i would feel better by Friday. Friday rolls around and my body was tired, sore and throat hurt. I worked all day and only ate a 6 inch sub for lunch. When i got home I got prepared for the night and tryed to eat something but didnt really feel like it. I knew I had to though. This was the first time I had not gone to prerace stuff but waited for my friends to drive with me. i thought a chic fila sandwich would really get me ready and at 9:30 pm ate one of those. Then me and my crew drove to camp and then followed the caravan to start. Pumped myself full of extra strength Excedrin about 45 minutes prior to race and about 15 minutes before ate a gel with caffeine. Needless to say I was not feeling anything at the start. We sang and then prayed and then we were off.
      Nothing abnormal for the first section. Matter of fact felt good. I witnessed the eventual winner shoot off like a bottle rocket and thought for sure he would pay the price later. No one had ever come to Hgate for the first time and won it. I didn't thin it would happen this time either. Chattered a little with Todd and couple other guys but i was focused. Hill came and ran it well. Picked up hydration pack at petites gap and ran off into darkness. I was feeling even better. Plan was to eat a gel every 20 min and salt pill every 30. drink drink drink.
     i pushed this section and if I'm not mistaken was in 3rd. Ran very well and came into camping gap. still doing well. Saw 2nd place during next section who was struggling and passed. I thought OK you can do this!! about that time something started to happen. Breathing was getting difficult. Hills seemed to get harder than normal. Finally when we got off grassy road i heard Todd and Chris just talking away like it was a Sunday afternoon walk. I was breathing hard.Got to a downhill section and felt Little better. couple of us ran together. got to bottom and then started climbing. I started walking. feet were hurting(rookie mistake of trying new shoes and they were a little light in the cushion are for hgate). Eric passed me and i tryed to put my head down and follow but couldn't keep up. Stomach now was hurting and i don't know why? we came into aidstation and I felt like crap!! The words i told my friends were..."thanks for coming guys". what did that mean? it meant sorry for all your troubles but i would like to go home now. Told them all my problems and not for a second did they gave into my jedi mind games. Kevin smith helped me change shoes. They gave me some kayopeptat and switched to bottles. I drank some soup and Gatorade and off i went against my wishes.
      I normally can stay positive but the thought haunted me that if i felt this bad now then I still had 40 miles to go!! I cant do it!! Every section felt like the forever section. I must have looked rough or something cause when Patrick Mcglade passed me he said in this very sympathetic voice..."Frank is that you? You ok Man?" My head was down and i just said not having a good day. Thanks for asking. Long downhill came and then the breakfast aid station. Saw my buds again and gave them my sob story. They kept telling me where everyone in front of me was and to be honest...i didn't care. drank some soup and gatorade and went on.
       Chris reed caught me on this next section. He was battling some motivational issues a little and we talked about that for a little. I told him to go on but he wouldn't. He walked when i walked and ran when I did. We talked all the way to top of the hill and then started coming down. at this point I could only see out of my left eye. i didn't know what it was but my right eye basically was cloudy. I stopped Chris at one point and asked him if he could see anything but he said no. I thought if I had some physical injury that could be seen my buddies they would let me quit. But nothing!! we got to the next station and my stomach issues were gone but still not feeling great. some friends from work had shown up and there cheering gave me a little pump. I got soup and gatorade and was off.
       I caught Chris for a second but then he left me like it was a 10K. Either he got a burst of energy or he slowed down that last section to help me out only. Either way i was grateful. The next section sucked!! I ran every step but it seemed like I was just crawling. My hips were exploding, back was hurting, eye was frozen over still, and i just did not want to run anymore. What?? Thats right! i didnt want to run anymore. I hiked in this section way to much and my time showed. I came out to bearwallow gap and saw my buds again. I said i wish one of you guys would run with me to which none of them seemed like they wanted to. Again my buddy kept telling me times of people in front like that would motivate me. Normally it would, but not this time. Drank soup and took a gatorade.
          This next section has always been tough for me and it was again. I hiked alot and even stopped and stood by while another guy passed me. I had nothing in me to keep with him and wished him the best. I kept going but not very fast. Nothing horrible or great happened here. Finally reached bobletts gap. I saw my buddy Todd dressed like he was going to run. I asked him why he was dressed up and he said he would run with me from here in! what?? its exactly what I needed.
         I followed him. we talked and I dont think he will ever know how much i just needed company. I have to give it to him for trying to motivate me. He prayed for me... talked to me about hurting and getting over it... and kept me going. I wish I could have given him more but I gave him what I had. This section was slow but not horrible thanks to company. We came out at day creek and i knew it was almost done. Matt gave me some more soup and at that point gels tasted like poop!!
            we hiked and ran a little but it was the slowest I had ever run that section. I wasnt even looking forward to the downhill but we ran it and finally the camp came. It was over. Shook DHO's hand and he said something along the line that sometimes we learn more from the races that we suffer the most from. Not sure I agreed but whatever it was over. Congratulated all the people in that finished in front of me and was astonished by the fast times. WOW!!
           Why the year of the friends? Because only good friends do not let you quit! They didnt give in for a second. Matter of fact they mocked at my attempts to appeal to their soft side. Crewing this race is an ultra in itself. So to Matt Towles and Todd Foster a big thanks goes out. As a matter of fact Todd foster has crewed me for every hellgate I have ever done. This year kids soccer conflicted with the race so wife showed up a little late but so glad she came out. She literally makes me feel like I win every race. Chris Reed definetly helped me more than he knows also. Just talking and listening was great. All my friends from work that showed up to cheer me on.

            What did I learn?

 1. I was tired. I raced alot this year and my body needed a break.
 2. You cannot win every race so dont think you can!
 3. I need people to do this life. You cannot think you will succeed without community to help you when you down.
 4. Thankful to run for Theaidstation.com ultrarunning team this year. Hope I represented well. So for any of your running needs you better go there!!! theaidstation.com
  Specifics: Shoes: Scott /socks: swiftwick compression/ Food: cliff shots and blocks. But mainly ramen noodle. Soup saved my life!!/shorts; Pearl izumi. Shirt: Patagonia team jersey.
           Not sure what I have in store for this year but I am finally getting my motivation back. After the race on sunday I jumped on a plane and flew to nicaragua and the symptoms of my sickness hit me like a ton of bricks. Took me a while to get back to it. Whatever it is im looking forward to it. Thanks for reading.